In a harsh world like ours, it’s so easy to pick somebody apart and pass judgement on them. Not even kidding, I am one of the first people to admit that I am really bad about it. I am so not a people person. I get way too irritated and I can just be so hard on people.
I have learned that people are the way the are for a reason. Things and experiences have made them that way. People’s flaws are not, in fact, flaws. They are more like notches in a tree. Time has made knicks and caused weathering. People are eaily influenced and affected by the the things that occur in their lives.
I first realized this when I started getting older, and my real mom, Amy, started talking to me about vey real things. She would tell me about her childhood, the good and the bad parts, her teenager years, and the darkest time of her life, her twenties. The time period where she was into drugs. Also, the time that she got me, her only child, her daughter, taken away from her.
Although I had always known why I was raised by my grandparents, and the reason she couldn’t raise me, I guess I had never understood the dynamics. It took a lot of listening to get her reasoning. While I do comprehend what she was saying, and how she justifies abandoning me as a toddler, I will never understand how anybody could give up their own DNA. Their baby.
You learn a lot about a person by just listening and not doing a lot of talking. To tell you the truth, you don’t even have to ask a lot of questions. They won’t leave out the important parts or the parts that really stick out to them. In a thirty minute car ride, you discover the root of the persons resentments, the seeds of their denial. The approval their seeking. The reason why they don’t have good things to say about a person who seems like a saint. Why their so defensive when it comes to certain things.
People aren’t born bad, or bitter, or broken, or scared. It’s nothing but the way the world turns that has made them that way. Life shapes you and the way you will be. Knowing this has helped me to stand people. Everybody has their own story. It’s a matter of caring enough to hear it.
