I should SO be finishing my online government class, but instead I’m hopelessly procrastinating in 15 minute increments. A little facebook here, some stumbleupon.com there, and now I’m on tumblr describing my pathetic habit. I always wonder why I put things off so badly, when life would be so much easier if I just did what I needed to do, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about it later. I would never do that though, because it’s the logical thing to do and it would make perfect sense. It’s very rare that I do anything the way it’s supposed to be done. Sometimes that really frustrates me, but typically, I like it. I truly appreciate the fact that the way that I think is so different. Most teenage girls would feel a little self conscious if they were constantly being told how strange they are. But the thing is, I like being a wee bit out of whack. It makes me feel okay. It makes me feel like there is some hope for the way my life will turn out. And I’m perfectly okay with being a little different from Yuma’s population of confused girls.
Just the other day my mom and I drove up to San Diego just for shits and gigs, and we always have the most interesting conversations on our roadtrips. We talked about her growing up, and my choices for college, and somehow the subject of having children was brought up. Her and the rest of the people I tell basically stand in awe at the fact that I don’t want to have kids. Some people can’t believe it mostly because of how much I adore kids. Nothing can put a smile on my face faster than a chubby baby, or a toddler with a bowl hair cut. I think that little kids are the best thing about this mean world. The other half, the people who DON’T know that I love kids, still don’t get why I don’t want them. Everybody just assumes that everybody wants to be a parent at some point in time. Kind of like how everybody goes to San Diego for the Fourth of July, just because everyone else goes. Anyways, people have kids just because society tells them too. I mean, it’s not like I’m against society or anything. Hell, I love society, I just feel like being the ‘norm’ shouldn’t be at a child’s expense. Let me tell you, I could name plenty of people who should be stripped of their parental duties.
So yeah, I would rather be put in the “different” category, than try to go along with everybody and drive myself truly isane. In fact, trying to be something your not is completely exhausting. It takes mental and physical effort that I would rather put into finishing this online class that’s been haunting me since January.
